Dear Tweetie: I’m thinking about leaving my role, and I feel terrible about it.

Dear Tweetie,

I’m thinking about leaving my role, and I feel terrible about it.

The person I support relies on consistency, and I know changes are hard for them. But I don’t think I can keep doing this job long-term.

I keep telling myself to “stick it out,” but that feels dishonest. At the same time, leaving feels like letting someone down.

How do you know when it’s okay to step away?

— Feeling Guilty Already

Dear Feeling Guilty Already,

This is a really common tension in support work.

A lot of the guilt comes from caring, not from doing something wrong. Often the harder part is working out what isn’t working. For some people, it’s the job itself and they need a break or a change. For others, it’s this particular pairing, even when everyone is trying their best.

Those are different situations, and it’s okay to take a moment to notice which one this is.

If you do decide to step away, it matters that support doesn’t just stop. Raising it early gives the person and the provider time to find someone else, rather than shifts ending suddenly or dropping off without a plan.

Many workers start by talking with their provider and keeping it simple and honest. A line some have found helpful is:

“I wanted to let you know early because I care about the person having steady support. I’m not planning to leave suddenly I just don’t think this pairing is working for me long-term.”

Leaving a role doesn’t mean you didn’t care. Sometimes it just means you’re being honest before things start to feel worse for everyone.

— Tweetie